- AMAZINGLY BAD ANALOGY
- Example: You can train a dog to fetch a stick. Therefore, you can train a potato to dance.
- FAULTY CAUSE AND EFFECT
- Example: On the basis of my observations, wearing huge pants makes you fat.
- I AM THE WORLD
- Example: I don’t listen to country music. Therefore, country music is not popular.
- IGNORING EVERYTHING SCIENCE KNOWS ABOUT THE BRAIN
- Example: People choose to be obese/gay/alcoholic because they prefer the lifestyle.
- THE FEW ARE THE SAME AS THE WHOLE
- Example: Some Elbonians are animal rights activists. Some Elbonians wear fur coats. Therefore, Elbonians are hypocrites.
- GENERALIZING FROM SELF
- Example: I’m a liar. Therefore, I don’t believe what you’re saying.
- ARGUMENT BY BIZARRE DEFINITION
- Example: He’s not a criminal. He just does things that are against the law.
- TOTAL LOGICAL DISCONNECT
- Example: I enjoy pasta because my house is made of bricks.
- JUDGING THINGS WITHOUT COMPARISON TO ALTERNATIVES
- Example: I don’t invest in U.S. Treasury bills. There’s too much risk.
- ANYTHING YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IS EASY TO DO
- ExampIe: If you have the right tools, how hard could it be to generate nuclear fission at home?
- IGNORANCE OF STATISTICS
- Example: I’m putting ALL of my money on the lottery this week because the jackpot is so big.
- IGNORING THE DOWNSIDE RISK
- Example: I know that bungee jumping could kill me, but it’s three seconds of great fun!
- SUBSTITUTING FAMOUS QUOTES FOR COMMON SENSE
- Example: Remember, “All things come to those who wait.” So don’t bother looking for a lob.
- IRRELEVANT COMPARISONS
- Example: A hundred dollars is a good price for a toaster, compared to buying a Ferrari.
- CIRCULAR REASONING
- Example: I’m correct because I’m smarter than you. And I must be smarter than you because I’m correct.
- INCOMPLETENESS AS PROOF OF DEFECT
- Example: Your theory of gravity doesn’t address the question of why there are no unicorns, so it must be wrong.
- IGNORING THE ADVICE OF EXPERTS WITHOUT A GOOD REASON
- Example: Sure, the experts think you shouldn’t ride a bicycle into the eye of a hurricane, but I have my own theory.
- FOLLOWING THE ADVICE OF KNOWN IDIOTS
- Example: Uncle Billy says pork makes you smarter. That’s good enough for me!
- REACHING BIZARRE CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT ANY INFORMATION
- Example: The car won’t start. I’m certain the spark plugs have been stolen by rogue clowns.
- FAULTY PATTERN RECOGNITION
- Example: His lust six wives were murdered mysteriously. I hope to be wife number seven.
- FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE WHAT’S IMPORTANT
- Example: My house is on fire! Quick, call the post office and tell them to hold my mail!
- UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT OF SUNK COSTS
- Example: We’ve spent millions developing a water-powered pogo stick. We can’t stop investing now or it will all be wasted.
- OVERAPPLICATION OF OCCAM’S RAZOR (WHICH SAYS THE SIMPLEST EXPLANATION IS USUALLY RIGHT)
- Example: The simplest explanation for the moon landings is that they were hoaxes.
- IGNORING ALL ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE
- Example: I always get hives immediately after eating strawberries. But without a scientifically controlled experiment, it’s not reliable data. So I continue to eat strawberries every day, since I can’t tell if they cause hives.
- INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND THAT SOME THINGS HAVE MULTIPLE CAUSES
- Example: The Beatles were popular for one reason only: They were good singers.
- JUDGING THE WHOLE BY ONE OF ITS CHARACTERISTICS
- Example: The sun causes sunburns. Therefore, the planet would be better off without the sun.
- BLINDING FLASHES OF THE OBVIOUS
- Example: If everyone had more money, we could eliminate poverty.
- BLAMING THE TOOL
- Example: I bought an encyclopedia but I’m still stupid. This encyclopedia must be defective.
- HALLUCINATIONS OF REALITY
- Example: I got my facts from a talking tree.
- TAKING THINGS TO THEIR ILLOGICAL CONCLUSION
- ExampIe: If you let your barber cut your hair, the next thing you know he’ll be lopping off your limbs!
- FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND WHY RULES DON’T HAVE EXCEPTIONS
- Example: It should be legal to shoplift, as long as you don’t take enough to hurt the company’s earnings.
- PROOF BY LACK OF EVIDENCE
- Example: I’ve never seen you drunk, so you must be one of those Amish people.
From: The Joy of Work: Dilbert's Guide to Finding Happiness at the Expense of Your Co-workers. By Scott Adams
